The Perfect Remedy

Dear Diary,

So I’m an idiot, what else is new?

I’m being completely honest here; I had good intentions. It’s like...ughhhh, I don’t even want to get into it but I feel like I need to. Why else would I have a diary?

I mentioned I was nervous about my interview right? So I call up one of my exes, Jeremy, to help me sort this out. I wanted his advice on what to wear and how to act...and I didn’t mind if we had sex later. It seemed like a fair trade. So he gives me the advice and we have sex after—totally normal. Then he asks, “Who are you interviewing with” and I tell him. Then he laughs softly and says, “Oh word?! That’s an ex of mine—I’ll put in a good word for you.”

Honestly, I didn’t even care if he was joking or not—not about the ex (that was obviously true) but about his tampering with my interview. I flipped out, I said, “Don’t you fucking dare! Don’t even think about telling her you know me.” He had the audacity to be offended and say, “I thought you wanted my help” and I said, “Yes, obviously, BUT NOT LIKE THAT.”

And he’s looking at me like I’m crazy and I can’t believe I have to explain to him why talking to an ex he’s apparently still “cool with” about helping your current off and on hookup is a bad idea. I mean that could bias her against me...am I being crazy or is he being stupid?

Regardless he wouldn’t let it go...he left in a huff and I was glad to see him go...but now I’m freaked out. What if he talks to her about me anyway, but says super bad things about me...I don’t think he would do that but all’s fair in love and war.

I don’t know man. I think I need to smoke and sleep...hopefully tomorrow will be better.

-XO

👽