A Slut With Standards
Dear Diary,
Okay so I know I’m being immature but hear me out.
I was on Facebook, procrastinating before my date with Michael (I know I need to stop seeing him, but that is not the point!) when one of my friends posted a throwback. It was all of us at Press Play some night before school started but everyone was back in town regardless (I think it was MLK day weekend). Anyways, Craig commented first because he’s always on Facebook even though the website died years ago—and he left a crying face emoji. Innocent enough, right? Laughing while crying (or crying while laughing take your pick) because we all look goofy. Not only was the photo taken on a potato, but we look so happy to be in a bar—you can tell we’re freshman. Okay so Anna comments next because it’s her photo and she also hasn’t gotten the memo that Facebook is dead.
She says, “lol where were you” because apparently Craig wasn’t even in the picture (I hadn’t noticed, I only got a notification because she tagged me).
And Craig says, “I was hiding from Eve. ‘CRAIG CRAIG CRAIG’ ”. This fool also tagged me so now I have two notifications.
Then Anna’s enabling, Facebook using ass has the gall to say, “She probably had a crush on you.”
INSERT BARF EMOJI.
Craig. How dare she think I had a crush on Craig??! If anything, he had a crush on me! I know some people think I took his V-card (CJ—the guy I actually did have a crush on-- teased me about it...then admitted that he was just joking because he knew I had higher standards). I hate when people assume my niceness equals attraction or that I’m flirting for anything other than practice. Like seriously, why would I date Craig when I was trying to bag CJ and before that I was trying to get Derrick to fuck me...Craig wasn’t even on my radar.
But I can’t say that because then the lady doth protest too much. Also, I don’t wanna hurt his feelings.
So, I comment, “fake news. I had bigger fish to fry.”
And Craig responds with a laughing emoji and says, “yeah you definitely did.”
Anna hasn’t said anything and I logged off Facebook anyway because I have a life outside of a dead social media platform. Also, because I’m waiting for Micheal to text me back.
Hopefully now my reputation is intact...I don’t care if people think I’m a slut, but they at least need to know I’m a slut with standards.