Almost is never enough

Dear Diary,

This is so weird, I’m in such an odd place right now I can’t put a name to what I’m feeling.

I guess that’s what writing is for right? So we can describe how we feel.

I think me and Johnny aren’t together anymore. And that’s such an odd thing to say, or write. For so long, it’s felt like that was all I wanted.  I think I let his presence validate me. When he was around and loving me I wasn’t just some girl, I was his girl. I was someone who was worthy to be loved. Who am I now?

I hate writing this because I know I sound over dramatic but...it hurts so much. Even though I know there are far worse things going on in the world right now than my trivial little heart break, it still feels like my world is closing in and I’ll never feel right again.

When we got home from that party we talked. He apologized for being distant, then he said, “I don’t know if I can give you what you want right now.”

I didn’t say anything.

Then he said, “I also don’t want to keep coming in and out of your life.”

Again, I didn’t say anything.

He tried again, “Eve I really don’t want to break your heart.”

So I whispered, “It’s too late” before I started to cry.