Whores, Woes, and Wanting.

Men tend to be so sensitive when it comes to bodily autonomy of women. To even fathom that we can do what we want with our own body, you can begin to see the wires frying in their head. It’s unfortunate but, I found quite true. I met up with an ex of mine. Our relationship was loving, close, and we truly projected ourselves together in the future. However, like so many people in love, their fears began to creep in and self-sabotage began. And since he lived in a different part of the world, a part of the world I was a few months out from moving to, it was difficult to reconcile, process, and heal… we broke up. It has been a long time since I had last seen him and we happened to be in the same city at the same time. So we connected, we processed what we had no time or opportunity to process and we made love. It was healing to tell you the truth. I melted into his love, his heart, his kindness, and our former dreams of what could have been. Yet, there was a day in which we discussed my career, my job, my path. And it was not what i would have hoped for. Of course he accepted me using my body as entertainment and a way to financially support myself, but he did not like it, never did. And as far as all my other jobs and ventures, it all has to do with sex, intimacy, love, porn, desire, lust, all of it. And I LOVE what I do. He had a point, but it hurt. He said, “it takes courage to stand up against the stigma and fight for what you believe in, and when you have a partner you are also asking them to fight that same battle.” 

I understood what he meant, but I was upset, even angry. Why do so many people fear the truth, fear the power that comes with a woman that stands up for her truth. And will there ever be someone willing to fight alongside of me? 

This is beside the point, but I know that I only want strong individuals in my life. I want people who not only see the value of what I do and accept the freedom I have when it comes to dancing, I want someone who could not give a shit about what anyone else says. I want someone who can easily look past the small minded few (or many) who disapprove, I want someone evolved, to evolve with, someone who is unfazed by societies toxic requests and can stand with me, rise to my level, and love me as I am. I know those people are out there. I know I will meet a love of my life to share my passion and experiences, who is proud of what I do and who I am and says FUCK EVERYONE ELSE. Honesty and truth will always prevail and the small minds of those who doubt will wither away with time, wilting with the changes and growth of life and social evolution.